The spring planting had barely begun when I lost interest in gardening. Oh, don't worry, we'll still grow an impressive garden by most people's standards, but it isn't my focus right now. Maybe it was the arrival of the first hot, humid days (have I mentioned how much I hate this climate?), or the shift from planning to actual work, or just my contrary nature that wants to do things at the wrong time of year. But it was also, at least in part, other things. After my last post, I made a decision. I finally committed, within myself, to the move to Mexico. And once I had done that, I began to see a new life for myself, and to move towards it. I challenged myself to learn a craft - or several crafts - that I can use to make a living, and I claimed one of the two now-empty bedrooms upstairs for a workshop. I started doing some sewing - working on the mending pile to start - and catching up on the knitting projects I haven't wanted to touch since January. I started thinking about leathercrafting again, and trying to get my former roommate to bring my shoemaking book back to me.
And another thing happened around that time. Danny, the guy I lived with in Mexico, who I was nearly certain was dead (of AIDS, which he was diagnosed with 11 years ago), e-mailed me after almost 5 years of total silence. Not just silence towards me - he totally abandoned his email account, which I had set up for him years ago and he never changed the password to - so the only thing keeping it from being closed down was that I would take a peek every 6 months to see if he had read or sent any messages. Not because I'm a stalker, but just to see if he was still alive, because I had no other way to get in touch with him. It turns out his girlfriend had forbidden him to use email, out of jealousy, but they recently broke up. I have no intentions of resuming any kind of romantic relationship with Danny, but it's nice to know that he's alive. We parted as close friends and we both consider the other an important person in our respective pasts. I was sad to think he had died, and I was also feeling like a bit of a "black widow", thinking I had two dead ex'es already at my age. But it's also good to think that I know someone in Mexico, again. It was enough to tip the scales of my indecision.
It will probably be almost a year before I can go, because of my husband's immigration proceedings, and that's okay with me because I have a lot of affairs to put in order, and crafting skill to develop. I'm not even at a list-making point yet, but this new vision of my future will affect all my decisions from here on out. For example, it had occurred to me that I should buy a Kindle rather than try to ship my print library (of course I'll still take a few books). So I jumped on a deal to get a refurbished one for $49 today. Little did I know that practically every literary classic is available for free download for Kindle, which goes a long way toward solving my homeschooling-without-libraries problem. I cringe at the thought of depending on another electronic device, but the thing only has to be charged once a month, and the alternative - shipping the books and moving them around until I settle into a permanent home - is unwieldy and energy-intensive.
So, much of the time and energy I was putting into homesteading, food-storing, and other non-portable activities (of course, we still have to eat for the next year so there will be some gardening and preserving) will now be put into things like crafting, purging and organizing my belongings, and saving money. If those things hold any interest for you, please continue to accompany me on my journey. For me, it is bittersweet: this may be the beginning of a permanent separation from homesteading for me, which is something I love and have gotten quite skilled at. On the other hand, because I have largely mastered the basics of homesteading, I've been longing for something new lately.
