No Trespassing

I want to be one of those people who has a beautiful, bountiful, tidy garden in an otherwise ugly neighborhood, and graciously invites everyone to share and enjoy it.  Children and adults alike would respectfully tour my garden and take home a new appreciation for food and plants and all that. 


But when one of the neighborhood kids walks through my yard as a shortcut to the street behind us, my gut reaction is to chase them off with a machete (although I generally don't do more than glare at them hatefully).  Why?


In part, it's cynicism.  I don't think the people cutting through my yard actually care very much about the food or flowers growing there, or would really appreciate my efforts to build community with them. They just want to save a few steps, and who could blame them?


My backyard and garden feel like an extension of my home, and having strangers come into it without asking for permission makes me feel kind of invaded, and that makes me want to build a very tall wall around the whole property and run around naked waving at airplanes that pass overhead.

But mostly, it's fear.  Not really of the people passing through, to whom I don't attribute any sinister intent, having lived here for 6 years without incident.  The biggest source of my insecurity is actually the government and its corporate masters.  In other words, I don't feel secure that my home is really mine (it's actually my mother's but that's not what I mean).  I worry that someone will call the county to report our illegal ducks.  That the electric company that has an easement where we garden under high-voltage power lines will come mow over my entire garden with a tractor one day.  That the bank will foreclose the property in some moment of financial crisis and evict us.  I am constantly aware of my powerlessness and it scares me.  The people walking through my yard have very little to do with any of that, but my need to protect my home and garden gets misplaced and I take it all out on them.